Group Efforts 21

Group Efforts
The Diary of a Workgroup Manager

Episode 67 (2000)

(Part 2 of August 2000's five-night summer special)

Tuesday
The management meeting, and the atmosphere is tense. As expected, Llewellyn announces his 'Desktop 2000 Upgrade Programme', which will convert all client PCs from Windows 95/98 to Win 2K. Citing the repositioning of Windows ME as a consumer product, he says it's essential to standardize on an industrial-quality client platform, adding that 'an eventual move to an homogenous W2K environment will practicalize DCOM architecting of future applications'. This, apparently, is Llewellyn-speak for "we're going to ditch the NetWare servers", and it's time for battle to commence.
        Taking a deep breath, I go over the top. Waving aside Llewellyn's protestations that Win 2000's interface is the same Win 98's, I list '28 little differences you're going to notice when you boot up Win 2K Professional' gleaned from a Californian website, and remind him that it took Danny six months to understand Win 98's 'shovel on a sandbox' Taskbar icon. Kay Bridges adds that her team's already fragile confidence in Windows will be undermined by encountering yet another new version. The killer blow, however, comes from Solvents Stores' Dave Tyson, who says it's a miracle that blokes as thick as his lot are using computers at all, and we should quit while we're ahead.
        There seems little need for more bombardment, but Andy opens fire anyway, and it's devastating stuff. Opening a thick folder, he lists, in merciless detail, the delay-clause penalties we've had to pay in the past due to problems with IT. Then he goes in for the kill with the Dorking Biggie, the infamous IT-backed underbidding fiasco which cost Roger Brison his job (first time round) and led to the takeover of the firm by Broadleys. Even Costello blanches at this, but then, just as the battle seems won, a lone voice pipes up. Stunned, we hear it say that our objections are Luddite nonsense, that Win 2000 is the first decent client platform Microsoft has ever produced, and that she'd be happy to have it in her department this very afternoon.
        It's Cathy, my own former Planning Executive. Eyes lowered in shame, I hear her say that she's seen opportunity after opportunity for IT innovation 'stifled by dogmatic resistance to change', and that the company will go under unless it accepts the need to evolve. Shocked by her betrayal, the All Stars sit in silence. Smugness spreading across his face, Llewellyn says it's good hear a realistic line management voice at last. All eyes then turn to a clearly bemused Costello, who says that there are 'obviously issues to be considered', and that a decision will be made at tomorrow afternoon's Board meeting. It's not over yet, and we may still need Deep Upgrade to save us.

Has Llewellyn won? Has Cathy blown her chances of ever being awarded an All Stars' Free Tea? And where is Deep Upgrade, the mole who may yet save the firm from an homogenous W2K environment that will practicalize DCOM architecting of future applications? Find out as our week-long Group Efforts Special continues in Episode 68!