Group Efforts 21

Group Efforts
The Diary of a Workgroup Manager

Episode 63 (1999)

Our hero comes back, the B2s are escorted out, the Penguin arrives and Cathy makes a fast exit.

Monday 13th
Back to the grindstone after two glorious weeks of R&R. Mercifully, nothing too drastic's happened while I've been away - except, that is, to the B2s, who were apparently sacked on the spot as our NetWare contractors after the Accounts server went down for 48 hours. The building's still buzzing with tales of Bill and Bob stalking the corridors looking for Costello's blood, before being escorted from the premises by old Alfie Price from Security, aided by Maintenance's ever-enthusiastic Big Dave Kingston. Line management feeling is mixed - it's sad to see old friends cast aside like this, but with Broadleys' contractors reinstated, server uptime has shot back up to pre-B2 levels. Following Andy's lead, I've chosen to take an unshakeably non-committal stance on the matter, a position some way below the moral high ground, but an equally safe distance from the storm still raging between the B2s and our own top brass.

Thursday 16th
I'd secretly hoped that the Linux server pilot would go away during my holiday, but unfortunately it hasn't. Chapman's been pushing Costello for progress, so Costello's now pushing Llewellyn and me, pre-empting our preferred strategy by telling us not to even think about palming it off onto Amrat and Cathy for a repeat of the IT-User Liason fiasco. The result is a Linux project meeting with Llewellyn, which does at least give me the chance to let rip at him for getting us into this mess in the first place. His reply is that it's all the fault of Amrat, and since he's my buddy I should get him to get us out of it. I approach the lad, but find him adamant that he'll do nothing until Llewellyn gives him credit for introducing the Linux-powered Intranet server. Llewellyn replies that what Amrat should be getting is a P45, at which point, tiring of the go-between role, I tell them to sort it out between them, and retire to the canteen.

Wednesday 22nd
Danny's post-holiday nickname seems to have stuck, and now even I'm beginning to refer to him as 'Nature Boy'. I still haven't a clue what it means, and Rose and June, who started it, won't let on, saying only that they thought I was supposed to know about sport. I do, but evidently not about the branch of it from which 'Nature Boy' is derived. Meanwhile the news is that the B2s have resorted, once again, to the law, claiming that their dismissal was a pre-meditated breach of the settlement of their earlier, Brison-inspired lawsuit. Andy, smelling blood, is offering 11/7 on Chapman becoming the second MD in a row to succumb to the Curse of the B2s, and 3-1 against the B2s ever setting foot here again. My instincts say that both will survive, so I take a fiver on the latter and enquire, fruitlessly, whether he knows who the real 'Nature Boy' is.

Tuesday 28th
Our Linux server has arrived (I know this because it says 'Linux' when it starts up, and there's a penguin on the front). Llewellyn arrives soon after, and we both stand there looking at it - neither of us, it seems, with much idea of what to do next. We're joined by Cathy, who says that Linux is really catching on, Microsoft's scared stiff of it, and who'd have thought that UNIX would have the last laugh after all. Llewellyn and I both look at her, but she reads our thoughts, says she's snowed under with Isleworth restocking, and makes a hasty exit. We then catch sight of Amrat sneaking down the corridor, haul him in and demand that he makes it do something. He loads a rather basic-looking text editor, says that it's doing something now, reminds Llewellyn of his terms for surrender, and takes his leave. Progress - of a sort - thus made, we switch it off and return to our offices.

Thursday 30th
A day filled with enlightenment, not all of it positive. Irritated beyond endurance by the mystery of Danny's nickname, I consult the Extreme Sports Oracles at Solvents Stores, who inform me that 'Nature Boy' is an American TV Wrestler whose white hair and unfeasible suntan do, indeed, resemble Danny's to a remarkable degree. Next I discover that Amrat is resisting Llewellyn's demands for Linux support by threatening to tell Chapman the true story of how he sneaked the Linux intranet server in under Llewellyn's nose. In the canteen the good news is that the B2s are coming back, and the even better news is that they won't be maintaining our NetWare servers. I grin as Andy pays out on my bet, but he tells me not to laugh too much until I've seen Llewellyn. Stomach sinking, I return to the ranch to find Llewellyn and the B2s standing round the penguin box - the latter two, it transpires, in their new role as our Linux support consultants. Bob types in a command, and the Linux system crashes. Llewellyn smiles weakly and beats a hasty retreat, and I retire to my office to assume the foetal position.

The Alternative View...

Cathy Reeve:
If Chris Llewellyn and Bernard think I'm going to drive that Linux pilot for them, they've got another think coming. I've been unofficial Departmental IT Manager for far too long now, and a lot of good it's done me - they take all the credit when things go right, and I do all the hard work and get the blame when things don't work out. For once I don't blame Amrat either - Llewellyn grabbed all the kudos when the MD decided that the Linux intranet server was a big success, and now he wants Amrat to cover up for the fact that he doesn't know anything about Linux at all. More power to the workers (or junior management, anyway)!

Andy Miller:
Poor old Bernard - stuffed again! He was grinning like a Cheshire Cat when he collected on his bet that the B2s would be back, but what he didn't know then was that they'd be back in his department! As for Llewellyn, you've got to hand it to him. In one move he's got himself into Chapman's good books by helping to buy off the B2s's lawsuit, got himself off the hook of having to support the Linux pilot, and put the B2s in the frame for when the whole thing goes belly up (which, with Bernard in charge, it almost certainly will). That guy certainly knows how to operate! I wouldn't like to be in Amrat's shoes either, now that Llewellyn's not looking for Linux support any more.