Group Efforts 21

Group Efforts
The Diary of a Workgroup Manager

Episode 59 (1999)

The B2s take action, Llewellyn takes cover, Danny takes liberties and our hero takes it like a manager.

Wednesday 5th
We are at the centre of high drama. After last week's super-app fiasco, Brison ordered Costello and Llewellyn to sack the B2s, which they promptly did. To everyone's amazement, the B2s responded with a real live lawsuit, alleging breach of contract and blaming the fault on 'imprecise specifications produced by incompetent in-house staff'. Brison's response was to instruct our lawyers to totally refute the allegations, and Costello to get the names of the in-house incompetents. In the frame are Amrat and Cathy, who wrote most of the super-app spec, and also yours truly, who signed it off at departmental level. However the word is that the B2's real target is Llewellyn, with whom they have a long list of unsettled scores. He's disappeared, and the smart money (i.e. Andy's) is now on an out of court settlement, with Llewellyn as the fall guy.

Tuesday 11th
My surprise at the B2's lawsuit was nothing compared to the shock of finding that Danny has actually transformed our productivity by using Visio to create smart diagrams which interact with Notes. This has made him flavour of the month at Broadleys HQ, but has ruffled the feathers of a remarkable number of his immediate colleagues. Rose and June, fearing that he will 'Visio' them next, are mumbling darkly about non-agreed changes to working practices. Amrat is mumbling darkly about using 'amateurs' for system development, conveniently forgetting that he turned the Visio project down. Meanwhile Cathy's narked because 'her' team weren't involved in the trial, and Joan Davies is, as always, simply narked. Costello and I, however, are so pleased with the lad that we've removed sacking him from the standard monthly progress meeting agenda. Even the most unlikely candidate can, it seems, come good.

Monday 17th
The legal business has suddenly taken a nasty turn, with the B2s refusing a settlement and pressing for exemplary damages, citing 'the need to demonstrate that large corporations cannot act in contempt of contract law'. Broadleys' corporate IT department are now taking a fine tooth-comb to the super-app spec, and it's been made clear that anyone who contributed so much as a full-stop to it is going to have to justify themselves. I find this very worrying, not because I've done anything wrong, but because I'm stacked up alongside one of the world's most accomplished buck-passers, C.J. Llewellyn. He may be the B2's target, but he's perfectly capable of deflecting their fire in my direction.

Thursday 20th
My source on the top floor (Sheila's cousin) tells me that Llewellyn is, indeed, deploying his most subtle and powerful buck-transmission techniques. In his report to our lawyers he accepts responsibility for any spec shortcomings, but adds that 'an inevitable consequence of user empowerment is the adoption of user-defined specifications' - i.e. he was only obeying our orders. Luckily it's a George's Get-Together night, so I ask the Oracle for advice. He gives me a money-off compost voucher and tells me not to worry, as HQ favours broad-shouldered management and frown on blame-shirkers. He also says that the B2s are going to accept our next offer anyway so there isn't really a problem, and that Llewellyn's machinations have been duly noted. Marvelling, as always, at George's omniscience, I order a round, and rest more easily.

Friday 28th
Suddenly it's all over. The B2s have settled for reinstatement on the super-app, plus rehiring as our NetWare maintainers, plus an undisclosed sum. The internal report notes a mistake in our spec, but one which 'it would be unreasonable to expect a user department to recognise'. I.T., on the other hand, are criticised for 'failing to correctly translate user requirements into technical specifications', while Brison, incredibly, receives open criticism for 'acting without a full assessment of the situation'. It's a victory for the Forces of Good, and we warm up for the B2's Undisclosed Sum celebration (venue, Peg's) with a bottle of Sparkling in the office. Just as I'm about to leave, however, a priority email arrives in my inbox. HQ Accounting want to know why Danny's latest Reading B diagram displays '"it ain't over till Joan Davies sings" every ten minutes. Normality - bless it - really has returned.