Group Efforts 21

Group Efforts
The Diary of a Workgroup Manager

Episode 45 (1998)

A diplomatic incident, a shock resignation, an early arrival and a suspended sentence.

Thursday 5th
This should still be the slack season, but two unexpected contracts (the fruits of a competitor's unfortunate demise) have got the entire building working flat out. Line management has been hit particularly hard - Andy's had to cancel his lunchtime snooker league, George's mid-afternoon potterings around the local garden centre have also had to go, and Personnel are moaning about my late Sickness and Absences reports, which I tell them will just have to wait. Only the girls and Llewellyn seem happy, the former because there's plenty of overtime, the latter because the Anglo-Caledonian nature of the contracts has won a reprieve for his precious link to Smithsons. The general consensus, however, is that none of us would want to change places with our former rivals, so there are few complaints as noses meet grindstones.

Monday 9th
Rose is away, and we've been loaned the Gorgon of Purchasing, Joan 'Diplomacy' Davies. Unimpressed by our IT setup, she compares it unfavourably with Purchasing's Visual Basic Word macros, comprehensive AutoText dictionaries and integrated Norton Undelete. Unimpressed by Joan, June and Cathy are drawing lots for first go at strangling her, Danny appears to be wiring her chair to the mains and Sheila is adding something indescribable to her coffee. Fearing the worst, I ring Personnel and request Joan's removal. They say that if I get my S&A reports in, they might be able to help. Recognising their game, I ring George and ask for some All Stars solidarity. He obliges, and ten minutes later Joan is recalled to deal with a major Purchasing crisis. Round One, I think, to the workers.

Wednesday 18th
That rare occurrence, great news from the I.T. Lubyanka. Amrat's been promoted to Management One, and is now Systems Support Manager with a staff of two and a cubbyhole of his own. It's Llewellyn empire-building again, of course, but the lad thoroughly deserves it, and is over the moon. In the canteen we offer him congratulations and a free tea before pointing out that we now hold him personally responsible for the state of Windows 95, to which he replies, very seriously, that uptime and compatibility are his top priorities. Cathy is clearly a bit miffed at being beaten to the coveted M-grade, but I tell her she's well on the way, which she certainly is as far as I'm concerned. Checking Danny for signs of frustrated ambition, I detect nothing whatsoever, but then I suppose we can't all be dynamic high-achievers.

Friday 20th
A solemnly-worded email from Amrat states that his new position makes it inappropriate for him to be running a Lottery syndicate, so he's resigning forthwith. Danny immediately mails everyone inviting them to join his syndicate instead, and I immediately mail everyone telling them that the offer has been withdrawn pending discussions between Danny and myself about misuse of company spreadsheets. Personnel then mail me to suggest that if I've got time to discuss Lottery syndicates then I've got time to do my A&S reports. I mail Amrat to ask him to reconsider, and Personnel to tell them to be patient. Both reply that they won't. With my enthusiasm for Amrat's advancement waning fast, I move the A&S folder to the bottom of the pile and return to Carlisle costings.

Tuesday 24th
At the management meeting the expected flak from Kay Bridges over A&S reports (which most of us have let slip) fails to materialise. Kay, in fact, seems remarkably cheerful, for reasons which become clear as Llewellyn announces the next phase of the integrated group admin system - online Sickness and Absences reporting, complete with a big red 'no data ' flag on Costello's screen whenever anyone misses a deadline. Llewellyn then says that it's arrived early because its chief developer, Amrat, was so keen to start his new job that he worked evenings and weekends to finish it. We promise to show our appreciation to Amrat personally after the meeting, and do, levying a fine of two rounds of Peg's finest ale plus two more suspended for a month. To his credit, he pays up like a true (junior) manager and, honour satisfied, we all head happily home.