Group Efforts 21

Group Efforts
The Diary of a Workgroup Manager

Episode 40 (1997)

The girls get mad, Costello gets a roasting, Cathy gets due recognition and our hero gets put in the frame.

Wednesday 2nd
Midsummer madness, postponed due to earlier rain, has arrived along with the warm weather. Rose and Sheila's network cards have both chosen this morning to blow up, causing their owners to explode as well. Amrat says he can't replace them until tomorrow, so I demand Llewellyn's presence. He turns up and smirkingly tells me that his staff can either fix the Materials Monitoring system or our cards, but not both. June tells him to get on with the MM fix, Rose tells him to do no such thing, and Cathy arrives and starts complaining about a management training day which I forgot to mention to her. Thanking goodness that Danny isn't here to make things even worse, I retire to my sanctuary and lower the blinds.

Thursday 10th
Andy has the full MM fiasco story from the top floor. Apparently the Old Man was on form, giving Costello a full-frontal roasting for his 'naivety' and telling Campbell that down here it's results, not smart-arse programming tricks, that count. Llewellyn, meanwhile, was praised for opposing the plans (something no-one remembers him actually doing) and has come out reeking like a high-density rose-bed. The upshot is that Group Management appointments, Bill's included, have been mothballed 'pending a review of group integration strategies'. This is great news for the worried All Stars, but our elation is tempered by the knowledge that it was Llewellyn who saved us, by allowing Campbell and Costello to dig themselves into the mire. We owe him one, and it's a debt he's unlikely to forget.

Tuesday 15th
Clearly recovered from his barbecuing, Costello tells the management meeting that group-wide co-operation is now the order of the day, with integration on the back burner. He then hands over to Llewellyn (with whom, disappointingly, he seems to be reconciled) for a demo of Microsoft NetMeeting, the latest thing in video conferenceware. A few clicks later a window opens to reveal the lovely Oona Jardine, who, despite apparent difficulty in coordinating her voice and movements, is still able to make Andy blush at 600 miles range. Llewellyn then asks for a volunteer to trial-run a set-top camera and microphone. I attempt invisibility, but know that my record as IT's guinea-pig makes me the prime target. Sacrificed by my peers, I bid Oona Roger and Out, and accept the inevitable.

Monday 21st
Amrat arrives with my conferencing hardware, including a video grabber card which Danny eyes with disconcerting interest. Telling Danny to forget it (whatever it is), I click the button and find myself face to face with Alan Jenkins, my opposite number at Smithsons, who seems to be having the same coordination problems as Oona. After exchanging pleasantries, weather reports and overviews of progress (mine reads 'generally OK, but Hounslow's a bit slow'), we agree that there isn't much else to say, and hang up. Amrat declares the test a resounding success, and I ask if he's going to take it away again now. He says no, as we're supposed to videoconference on a daily basis, logging group-wide co-operation improvements on an official form. I write 'improved awareness of Glasgow rain problem' on mine, and, another cutting-edge task completed, retire to the comfort of Peg's real time conferencing suite.

Thursday 24th
The old MM system is back. As before, it's slow, awkward to use, and has this funny habit of going to sleep for exactly 75 seconds every hour or so. These minor flaws are, however, heavily outweighed by its ability to transfer stock between projects without re-booking, and we welcome it home like a long-lost friend. Andy, George and I are agreeing that its return is a triumph for Line Management activism when Sheila pointedly reminds us that it was Cathy who submitted the Change Request that triggered the process. The slightly smug Requestor's contribution duly acknowledged, we head for the canteen, where we find the Grand Smugmeister himself installed on the All Stars table. Knowing what's required, we publicly express our appreciation of his vindicated system. Satisfied, he leaves. A payment has been made, but we all know it's just the first of many instalments.