Group Efforts 21

Group Efforts
The Diary of a Workgroup Manager

Episode 24 (1996)

An unpopular promotion, a popular resistance movement, a bitter confrontation and an almost-sad farewell.

Monday 5th
An email bearing the id 'CJLlewellyn' awaits me. Unexpectedly, it announces a temporary reprieve, stating that our Suites Evaluation Project copies of Microsoft Office (Standard Edition) will now be installed in three weeks' time. Amrat pops in to say that we should really get the Professional version, complete with Access database. Further probing reveals that he's keen to build an experimental Planning Documentation System using multiple applications linked by OLE Automation. I mail Llewellyn that Standard Edition will do just fine, and not to send any Professionals by mistake. Final Inbox arrival of the day is a message from chief SmartSuite evaluator Andy Miller, suggesting an off-site unofficial suites tester co-ordination session. Sensing a Miller Strategy developing, I concur enthusiastically.

Tuesday 13th
Thinly-disguised dismay (nearly) all round at the Management Meeting, as Costello announces that Colin 'Snide' Smiles' training mini-empire has been upgraded to full Departmental status, and Smiles hoisted to line manager status along with it. This means that he'll now be attending the management meetings, and rather theatrically he does just that, appearing on cue to receive a welcoming handshake from ally and mentor Llewellyn. George Barker's murmured 'hello Colin' suffices for the rest of us, and we nod silently in agreement. Smiles' first official statement is a promise of hands-on support for Suites Evaluation Project user departments. I'm appalled at this but Andy seems unworried, increasing my hopes that he has a sleeve-resident solution to the suites problem.

Thursday 15th
For our secret meeting, Andy and I choose the Radleigh Arms, a big soulless place where no-one ever goes. Finding Llewlellyn and Smiles in there enjoying a lunchtime tete a tete, we head back to Peg's, where Andy announces that as agents of democracy it's our duty to make sure the winning suite is the People's Choice, and not Llewlellyn's. His strategy includes secret consultation sessions under cover of George's Win 95 Lunchtime Interface Workshops, and score-rigging by us to make sure the right suite wins the official evaluations. I say there'll be hell to pay if Costello finds out, but he tells me, mysteriously, not to worry about that. Killing suites off altogether would have been even better, but at least we're back on the same side. I sign up for the Resistance, and we toast People Power in Peg's finest bitter.

Wednesday 21st
Blind panic as Rose and June log on to find themselves sans document email. I call Amrat, who fiddles for ten minutes then makes a phone call. Two minutes later Llewellyn himself appears, and after a brief consultation tells Amrat to call the Microsoft Certified Professional. Cathy, meanwhile, makes a call of her own, and a remarkably short time later the B2's Bill arrives. He and Llewlellyn hold frank discussions in my office, with the phrases 'we said this would happen' and 'your assistance isn't needed here, thanks' audible through the glass. Llewellyn then takes up guard in front of the server, stepping aside only when June describes in detail what she'll do to him if he doesn't let Bill get her system working. Bill sorts everything out then leaves, claiming a 'triumph for unauthorised outsourcing'. Llewellyn and Amrat also leave, and we're left wondering what on earth it was all about.

Friday 23rd
Danny has an announcement to make. His girlfriend has been offered a fantastic job in Newcastle, and after much deliberation he's decided to go with her. Cathy, clearly impressed, describes it as an 'amazingly mature' move. Rose and June say it's one up for the girls and good on him for putting her first, although he rather spoils the moment by saying he'd be daft not to, as he can now retire and live off her huge salary. Amrat then spoils things by saying it's just as well Danny's going as he's useless and would never have made full Planning Executive, although this turns out to be a joke. The 'Mother of All Leaving Dos' is promised for a month's time, and I ring Personnel to begin yet another recruitment process.