Group Efforts 21

Group Efforts
The Diary of a Workgroup Manager

Episode 22 (1995)

Windows 95 time at last, an MCP outflanked, offence-giving filenames and guilt by association.

Wednesday 6th
Windows 95 day has finally arrived. With it comes Amrat, his Installation Taskforce and the Microsoft Certified Professional, a serious-looking young man with gelled hair, a large briefcase and a smart suit. Amrat announces that he can leverage Danny's CD-ROM drive, avoiding a temporary server device upgrade. The MCP agrees, and the Taskforce look at Amrat with the same reverence that Amrat showed I.T.'s technocrats when he was a mere Junior Planning Executive. Danny says he's glad they've come, as his CD drive's disc tray is jammed, there's a copy of Manic Sports stuck inside, and could they help him get it out. Amrat and the MCP look at him in disgust and head for the server. ETC (Estimated Time of Completion) is lunchtime tomorrow, so we all revert to manual mode and leave them to it.

Thursday 7th
Our Windows 95 ETC has been re-estimated. Apparently there's some confusion over network drivers, and Cathy's disk controller isn't being recognised, while Danny's jammed CD drive is, but as a second fixed disk labelled 'Maniac'. Amrat and MCP disappear for a support line conference call, and almost immediately the B2's Bill materialises. He changes Cathy's device parameters, gives Danny's CD drive a sharp smack, removes Manic Sports from its now-mobile tray and replaces it with a gold disc bearing the legend 'NW-W95' in felt-tip. Ten minutes later everything has been configured properly. Bill grins, leaves a B2 Systems business card on the server, and melts away into the afternoon. We stare open-mouthed for a few moments, then begin exploring our new desktops.

Tuesday 12th
The fallout from the Unauthorised Installation Fiasco continues. Llewellyn is demanding to know why I engaged my own Windows 95 installer, Amrat is demanding that I let him perform the entire installation again, and I'm demanding that he keeps well away until Three Oaks Phase One is completed. Colin Smiles is refusing to give us our User 95 Handover Session until we're a legitimate configuration, and three other departments are claiming B2 involvement in the hope that he'll refuse them too. Meanwhile George is giving us clandestine interface support and Microsoft want to know who these B2 cowboys are, and could they have their phone number. I enjoy folk-hero status at the management meeting, although Llewellyn's cold stare reminds me that a reckoning will surely come.

Thursday 14th
Installation Fiasco notwithstanding, we're settling in quite well with Windows 95. Danny has created an offensive long filename and placed copies of it on the girls' desktops. I've created a career-threatening one and, with help from Cathy, placed it on his. Rose and June were convinced that Office 95 had been slipped in behind their backs, until I assured them that it was just Word 6 with new-style buttons and old-style bugs. Sheila discovered to her horror that she couldn't restore her Windows 3.1-format confidential backups, but managed to find an unconverted PC in Solvents Stores that could handle them. Everything runs marginally slower than before, but Amrat says that's because we've come from a Windows 3.11, rather than 3.1, baseline, and if that's not good enough then why don't I contact my pals at B2 Miracle Workers PLC. Wounds have clearly yet to heal.

Wednesday 20th
Summoned to an Unauthorised Installation Postmortem, the B2s explain to Costello that, as the firm's NetWare maintenance contractors, they naturally resolved a downtime-generating network problem as a matter of priority, including fixing the hardware needed to read the updated drivers disc and verify the workgroup configuration. I corroborate their story, citing Three Oaks penalty clauses as the justification for drastic measures. Costello tells us we've got away with it this time, but warns us not to play silly buggers with I.T. strategy again. With a sinking feeling I realise that I'm now cast as the B2's accomplice, and decline, as audibly as possible, their parting offer of lunchtime refreshment in Peg's. As I leave I see Llewellyn grinning wickedly, and know that by nightfall there'll be a new entry in the 'special notes' section of his online personal organiser. I am, not for the first time, a marked man.