Group Efforts 21

Group Efforts
The Diary of a Workgroup Manager

Episode 14 (1995)

Costello dishes out the punishment, gambling fever takes over and a secret leaks out.

Monday 30th
I log into the Contracts Department News Server (chief reporter A. Miller) for a full rundown on the Purchasing Server Postmortem. Costello apparently said they were all to blame, since they'd been so hostile (George Barker) and slipshod (Llewellyn and the B2's) that a disaster was just waiting to happen. B2 Systems' contracts will henceforth depend on a mobile hotline number and one-hour callout, with Amrat taking over permanently if they don't turn up. For playing silly buggers with Windows 95, George is sentenced to completing the beta programme on a serious basis, with weekly progress reports cc'd to T.C. For being daft enough to give George the software in the first place, Llewellyn has to provide him with him full support. Not an easy man to impress, Andy now rates Costello as 'a genuinely hard bastard'.

Friday 10th
I find Rose, June, Sheila and Cathy crowded round Danny's desk, looking at his PC screen. Concerned at what he might be showing them, I investigate, and find that they're running a National Lottery syndicate using a prediction program from a magazine cover disk. I'm a bit miffed that they didn't ask me to join, but Sheila explains that with the rules about unauthorised software they thought I'd rather not know. I pay a month's subscription and use Windows Calculator to divide eight million by six. Passing network superhero Amrat tells me I'd be much better off investing in his syndicate, which uses probability theory software developed by Amrat himself in C++ and is therefore guaranteed to provide massive payouts real soon now. Danny says that Amrat uses a Pentium PC, so it might win a lottery but not the one they've put their money on. I leave them arguing and start planning the cruise.

Wednesday 14th
A suddenly rejuvenated Llewellyn stuns the management meeting by announcing that we will all have to switch to a standard office suite. It's our own faults, apparently, for insisting on 1-2-3 instead of Excel, creating an unsatisfactory and non cost-effective multi-vendor situation. We all look hopefully at Costello, but he keeps a non-contradictory silence. I wait for George to ask exactly what an office suite is, but to my astonishment he enquires if all the candidates will be available this year in 32-bit versions supporting OLE Automation. Llewellyn replies that Microsoft's obviously will, but that Lotus's offering also looked good at a preview last week. There's no rush to decide, we're told, since the change won't be made until after the Windows 95 implementation. Eight mouths simultaneously form the words 'what Windows 95 implementation?', but Costello moves briskly on to Budget Reviews.

Tuesday 21st
The big news is that Amrat's syndicate has had a win on the National Lottery, although excitement is tempered by the fact that it was £10 and there are 12 subscribers. Apparently Amrat wanted to reinvest the money in a double-sized entry, reducing the jackpot odds to near-certainty levels. However his punters, frustrated by the long payout famine, demand hard cash, forcing him to make a lunchtime visit to the NatWest in the Centre. I quiz Danny on our syndicate's poor performance, and he tells me that it's all in hand as he's switching to a different magazine's cover-mounted prediction program. Already £3 down, I consider switching to Amrat's proven win-generator, but loyalty wins through and I settle for ringing a puzzled I.T. administrator to confirm that Danny's PC is definitely a an old-style 486.

Monday 27th
Cathy asks if she can go on a Visual Basic course to prepare her for the switch from Word for Windows macros. Hiding my inside knowledge of the suites decision, I'm skilfully steering the conversation towards general training issues when June spoils it by shouting across that she definitely wants to go back to WordPerfect when they change all the software. Cathy disappears muttering something about 'open government', and I take to the Information Superhighway (aka the admin building corridor) to find the source of the leak, only to discover that it's been common knowledge in the canteen for a week. My street credibility on near-empty, I visit George, who asks if I'd like a demonstration of the Windows 95 Explorer and begins navigating round something called the 'Network Neighborhood'. Temporarily unable to cope, I make my excuses and leave.